Quotes: Politics, Politicians

(conduct of public affairs for private advantages; people who have the gift of gab and the gift of grab)

1. Of, relating to, or dealing with the structure or affairs of government, politics, or the state.
2. Relating to, involving, or characteristic of politics or politicians.
exercising or seeking power in the governmental or public affairs of a state, municipality, etc.
3. Exercising or seeking power in the governmental or public affairs of a state, municipality, etc.
political-public speaking
Comedic Definition: All in a dais work.
politician (s) (noun), politicians (pl)
A person who is active in campaigns for or holds a position in governmental authority or power: "Apparently there are some politicians who are more interested in gaining advantages for themselves than they are for their voters."

"Some politicians are seekers or holders of a public office who are too often more concerned about winning favor or retaining power than about maintaining principles."

A political war is one in which everyone shoots from the lip.
—Raymond Morley
Some politicians have no respect or loyalty for those who helped them gain political power.

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There are some politicians who betray the citizens
who have helped them gain political power.

1. The art or science of government or governing, especially the governing of a political entity; such as, a nation, and the administration and control of its internal and external affairs.
2. The activities or affairs engaged in by a government, politician, or political party.


It is highly improbable that the bureaucrat will put his life on the line. It is absolutely impossible that he’ll put his job on the line.
—Eduardo Galeano, Omni

Too often our Washington reflex is to discover a problem and then throw money at it, hoping it will somehow go away.
—Kenneth B. Keating

Wizard: There are three things you can count on in life.
Soldier: What are they?

Wizard: Death and taxes!
Soldier: What’s the third thing?

Wizard: A politician who tells you he’s against both of them.
—Cartoon, "Wizard of ID", May 13, 2003.

Too often our Washington reflex is to discover a problem and then throw money at it, hoping it will somehow go away.
—Kenneth B. Keating

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
—Maureen Murphy

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
—Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971)

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid [deceive] the people.
—Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

Washington, D.C. is where the speed of sound is faster than the speed of light.
—V.R. Thompson

Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.
—Paul Valery, French poet and writer

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then—we elected them.
—Lily Tomlin

A politician's two worst enemies are Dr. Heckle and Mr. Chide.
—Dan Kessner

Congress is sometimes immobilized by greedlock.
—George Jacobus

Analysis of politics according to TV host, Johnny Carson

In 1991, Johnny delivered on The Tonight Show, a television variety program in the U.S., with the band playing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" in the background the following presentation: "What Democracy Means to Me" by Johnny Carson.

To me, democracy means placing trust in the little guy, giving the fruits of nationhood to those who built the nation. Democracy means anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

Democracy is people of all races, colors, and creeds united by a single dream: to get rich and move to the suburbs away from people of all races, colors, and creeds.

Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead. And, unlike communism, democracy does not mean having just one ineffective political party; it means having two ineffective political parties.

Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto—usually a mop or a leaf blower. It means that with proper timing and scrupulous bookkeeping, anyone can die owing the government a huge amount of money.

Democracy means a thriving heartland with rolling fields of Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Spanky, and Wheezer. Democracy means our elected officials bow to the will of the people, but more often they bow to the big campaign contributors.

Yes, democracy means fighting every day for what you deserve, and fighting even harder to keep other weaker people from getting what they deserve. Democracy means never having the Secret Police show up at your door. Of course, it also means never having the cable guy show up at your door. It's a tradeoff. Democracy means free television. Not good television, but free.

Democracy is being able to pick up the phone and, within a minute, be talking to anyone in the country, and, within two minutes, be interrupted by call waiting.

And finally, democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head. This signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle.

I thank you.

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