You searched for: “protomasochism
The primary, ancestral tendency of the death instinct to lead all human beings into annihilation or to drive them into nothingness.

The term is used to describe "a pleasure of destruction directed against the ego, a kind of sadism which has chosen the ego for its victim."

This entry is located in the following units: -ism, -ismus (page 48) proto-, prot- + (page 4)